so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
