counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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