Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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