My liver just broke up with me...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
