I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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