maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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