Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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