I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
