He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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