these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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