I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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