Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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