do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
