So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
