Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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