and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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