How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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