Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
