tell your sister to shave her snatch
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
