Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon