where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.