no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
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Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.