Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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