This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I could fuck to npr.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
