i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.