Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.

(706): View more from Georgia

Try anal, it works wonders.

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(516): View more from New York

is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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(313): View more from Michigan

Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

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(512): View more from Texas

Where'd you go last night?

(512): View more from Texas

Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.

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(954): View more from Florida

she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon

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