just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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