Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
