I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So much rum. So many feels.
my poor anus
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
