Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
