if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
