I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
