You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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