so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
