My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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