I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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