i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize