I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
