I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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