I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize