was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
