My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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