my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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