Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
