I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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