I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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