I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
