His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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