i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
