I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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