I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
