Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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