Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's rum buckets o'clock
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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