Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have post one night stand depression
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
