I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have grass duct taped all over my body
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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