Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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