can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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