Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
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I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
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I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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