i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This baby is an asshole
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
