Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
