Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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